Hey, me...listen

it is unbelievable how fast time passes by. i've just finished my second exam for the fifth subject this afternoon, followed by calculus this sunday and a last paper on next friday. there goes my second exam and soon, we will all be sitting for our finals. and, that marks the DOT to our third semester.

come to think of it now, what have i achieved and what did i do in my first year? and, with my third semester coming to an end, have i been progressing compared to last semester? so many question marks plastered to my head. am i really fit to face the world and its society? how ready i am?

gosh! i have been to playfull, lazy(gotta admit that), pampered, spoilt, immature! i have to admit that i am pampering myself too heavily that i am so unwilling to step out of the comfy zone, have been too timid to make a brave decision, have been so "unbothered" to shoulder responsibilities. i have been too "into" my own ideal world.

i've always hope to be able to graduate out as a brilliant and quality graduate that shines brightly among the large quantity of fresh graduates. even when i was still a little girl, i have very high hopes and expatation for myself. i was greedy. i wanted all the best. dreamt that i was granted the scholarship to study in UK, white collar job, live in big banglo with a Steinway&Sons grand piano standing proudly in the spacious room, speeds the coolest car and mom and dad having a nice life. but, where am i standing now? i am nowhere...i am going downhill...

i wonder what makes me change so drastically? from someone who have been giving top most priority to her academics to someone who scores just a mere passing in her subects now? where has all my motivation gone to? my grades in uni sucks!(well, my habits kill me).

i still can't see what's lying ahead of me. i am struggling in my own confusion...(in this case, my stubborness is what that's stopping me)

yee hieng, please do something! WAKE UP!!! DREAM NO MORE!

I WANNA STAND UP AGAIN!!! I WANNA BE STRONGER!!!