2009

it's soon the time for beers, chips, fireworks and a massive countdown downtown again. it is unbelievable. has time gotten by this fast? have i been blinking too much? 364 days then, i was typing a similar post, dedicated for year 2009 and downed my very first (or two! ) bottle of liquor and i should have predicted that 364 days later, i'll be writing one last post before year 2009 ends.

2009 has been quite a memorable year for me. there's tears but it's mostly filled with good memories. just two months ago, pui shan and i were carving pumpkin for halloween and last semester break, we had a fun-filled trip to langkawi, kedah and penang. i have also been living quite healthily-went for badminton and swimming on tuesdays and fridays. yes, healthy unless you minus all the good food i've eaten this year-klang's famous bak kut teh, honey-glazed pork ribs, the highly praised taiwanese food in the gardens, and the nicely grilled, juicy cod fish and salmon fish of tao's cuisine.

my wallet is always in crisis, thanks to my growing appetite and indulgence in food. everyday my friends hear me grumbling about being fat-fat thigh, flabby arms, fat face, fat here, fat there, fat everywhere fat fat! poor this poor that poor my wallet! i am so irrational when it comes to food, i can be on a tight budget this month, but in the middle of it, you will see me cutting lamb chops in chillis, another day will have me sitting at the sushi bar, picking sushi and sipping green tea. with such lavish appetite, i doubt myself that i'll have enough to last the whole semester.

2009 is really a gastronomic year. ahhh!

sigh, with 2009 coming to an end, i suddenly realise that my white digital casio watch is now 1 year old! looking at the watch now, it is as if i am watching a film that's reeled backwards.

i am quite reluctant that this is the last day of 2009, but we must move on! looking forward to a good year ahead. 2010, welcome. i am prepared for you.

a toast to 2010. woohoo!

of her facebook obsessions and confessions

"social utility that connects you with the people around you”

***

prologue:

well, as much as i hate to admit it, i am quite amused with facebook. it's already been integrated into my routine. every time i surf the internet, i'll surely, inevitably type in facebook.com (i dun save facebook in my bookmark, just in case i could still be cured off the facebook syndrome) in the first tab and other matters come next. but, this post is actually triggered by a particular topic started in the famous facebook, which in turn, revoked my love-hate relationship with FFB (you are free to percieve the abbreviation) or any social networks of the like. so, you read and tell me if i hate or love facebook. thank you.

where should i begin? ah, right.

#1: friends in friendster-friends or not?

remember the chatting channels, ICQ and MIRC? remember ICQ's signature "uh-oh"? they hold such a nostalgic value in my memory. a memory of my teen years. like all other teenagers of my time, i grew up using icq and then mirc. but, after a year, i ran out of topics and decided that i would not be using icq and mirc again. then, comes along the frienster. soon, friends were talking about adding friends and sending testimonials to each other. i was curious. how could you not tell what you feel and what you want to say to your friends face to face, but choose to write all that in friendster, which requires more work and effort.

out of curiosity and undeniably, the popularity, i signed up an account and i have since became a victim of friendster. before long, i found myself checking out everybody's profiles and pictures while condemning those who lock their profiles as private. *damn, this guy is handsome. i wanna see his pics/ kedekut betul!* i even checked to see if people actually writes in my testimonial box. that's also the starting of the narcissism in me.

one of the most interesting fact in friendster is the number of friends you have. the friendly count is a measure to your own popularity. basically, the more, the better. if the count is 10, it means you are a newbie, judging from the date you registered. if you are in for a long time, but your count of friends is still between 20-30, it means you are not so popular. translation: you are not the pretty/handsome type that people feel you should be worthy of knowing. on the good side, you can invade people's privacy more then yours being invaded. if you have up to 400 friends, your popularity is rate #2. translation: you are the beautiful type/macho type. constitution of friends probably your old school mates, your collegues, your bf/gf's friends, and someone who thinks both of you have the same interest. if your count exceeds 400 to uncountable that some needs to open a few more friendster accounts, bravo. your popularity is un-questionable. probably, you are one hot/dashing/handsome/sexiest person alive. and your friends probably consist of your old school mates, your collegues, your bf/gf's friends, your bf/gf's friends' friends, and yadda yadda yadda. i doubt that this particular popular person even stay in touch with 80% of the friends in his libraries.

as you might have guessed, my count of friends falls between the range of 20-40. but, BUT, i do not have anything against these beautiful people out there. this is just a mere opinion, not biased or prejudiced. in fact i have a confession to make. i was one of those people who envy about the high count and who gets excited when someone sends in a friend request. even though i do not add people randomly but i admit that i did accept the friend requests-me and my twisted principle.

an embarrassing piece to leak: i even edited my friendster profile two or three times to make it look "friendly" and "cool", all for the sake that it would catch some attention. now, looking back at the profile, i felt like puking. blerggghh! elaborating further will only have me dying of "geli-ness".

#2: facebook-starts with the letter F too!

so, it's the era of facebook, said a friend. whatever happens to friendster? is it joining the icq-mirc league? but, never mind that. facebook is much much more cooler and nicer then friendster. it's the in thing now. it's like a drug. you can get pms if you were denied access into facebook.

the term facebooking is a netlingo now but who knows, in the long run, it's a legal word and you can search it in dictionaries. perhaps something like this:

facebooking verb
/ˈfeɪs.bʊk.ɪŋ/
the act/process of logging into facebook, [copy-paste tagline] and indulging in its various activities such as restaurant city, pet society, happy farm town, updating and commenting on status, uploading pictures and videos; and etc.
E.g: She was facebooking in the lab when the lecturer wasn't looking.

truthfully, i enjoy facebooking very much. i think restaurant city is pretty childish but i am childish enough to play it. without fail, i water my plants next to my restaurant, feed my workers, answer the quizzes, visit my next-door-restaurateur and the next next next to see if i missed out my chance to collect free ingredients and redecorate my restaurant when my restaurant is profitting. wtfish!

reading friends' status and comments has been a favourite pastime too. nothing entertains more than reading these. commenting is even more entertaining. you can choose to agree, or to disagree or sometimes to black-humour someone. *evil evil grin*

the thing with facebook is that it is quite the same as friendster. the problem arises here. so-called friends aren't even sincere about befriending you. there is a reason why they added you. agree? well of course there are always some exceptions. but if you add this person, maybe you can get free ingredients if you are visiting his restaurant for the first time or what? (i only play restaurant city) no harm right? that's the whole point of facebook.

and oh boy! i do love the quizzes. 'naff said.

although facebook isn't really personal or claimed to be getting less personal, it has been a source of entertainment to me.

epilogue:

my writing here is not to prove that facebook is a piece of useless junk. no, of course! and i think i need to take facebooketamol pills to ease my fever.

time has it's own way of softening the rough edges. i can almost imagine myself chuckling at all those silly comments made and the bombs threw at each other in a very long long long time to come. i think this is what that defines part of our early 20s. oh, gosh. i am laughing now!


*this post is something i had in mind sometimes ago, but with many thoughts dissipating away in the end. as much as i enjoy writing this, i hope you enjoy reading it too (if there's someone :))*

academic slides vs blog posts

academic slides: read me! read me! exam coming soon. this monday!
blog post: eh, i just arrived in the blog. check me out. i am very interesting.

academic slides: oh, read me first. i am of higher priority. needs to go into processing first.
blog post:oh, i won't take a lot of time. don't worry.

academic slides:don't fall for that! First-in-first-out concept! i came in first. i've been in the queue 2 minutes ago.
blog post:shortest job first! remember. i have minimum turnaround and service time.

ah. ok. the blog post wins. "reading blog post" thus went into execution. *imagine abba's "the winner takes it all" playing in the background.*

***

after reading the post, the eye found another interesting post and thus fired up a new message to the brain.

again the battle between the slides and the post begins:

academic slides:it's my turn now! yay!
blog post2: you know i can be done in a jiffy, don't you? besides, a few more minutes won't hurt. that academic slides is boring!

sigh. fall prey to blog post again. ok. just one more. last. *"the winner takes it all" playing in the background again*

***

well, the loop goes on and on without terminating. the academic slides are now suffering from starvation. its existence in the queue is shrinking, forgotten and insignificant.

insignificant? that's a sad word.

i should implement the round robin that distributes processing time equally among requesting processes. eh, but wait! round robin might not be that efficient all the time.

so after all, priority-based scheduling is the best option now. sigh. i always ignore priority. that's always my problem. intensive focusing class in need.

if only the slides are in comic form. i'll be able to read once and remember for a long time. :)

quotable quotes

"The greatest tragedy in life is people who have sight, but no vision."

Helen Keller

All that jazz and electrifies

Simply Jazztronicked!















i am in the impulse of rushing to rock corner in Gardens, for cd shopping again after listening to FreeTEMPO. hard not to, especially when 4shared.com is blocked [again] and i fail to bypass the proxy.

anyway, i think i might have a thing towards music produced by dj's, but not the overly hyped type, of course! to name one, clazziquai, a fantastic project by a korean dj whose genres are a mixed of groovy, classical, jazz, electronic, house and some bossa nova. on the other hand, FreeTEMPO which is initiated by japanese dj takeshi hanzawa fuses jazz and electronic and most of its music blends in some element of sway, lightness and some kind of "wanna-break-free". schweet. i love the album covers' concept alot. imaginative and vintage looking, like one of those laser discs i used to see in music stores.

to be fair, i think some of the pieces sound familiar to each other-mostly played around one main theme and style or start with a similar rhythm but given a different twist while developing. redundant they may sound but one can still make out the difference between two pieces. the only thing ordinary about FreeTEMPO albums which matches the other albums out there would be this fact: "in every album, there will be only one most distinguished track". haha, i can't deny that favouritism is hard to avoid.

simply put, FreeTEMPO delights me. the first track i listened to should be immaterial white. this makes great listening because it feels fresh, something different from the usual tracks played in my player. speaking of the media player, my music library is expanding exponentially, consisting of musicians whom i've never heard of until i downloaded their albums and savour their music.

how irony can that be? these musicians are internationally renown and yet we have no idea! and to add to that matter, it is almost impossible to find their albums in regular music stores here. perhaps, their fame is only defined among the jazz musician community and people who have been avid fan of the genre. one thing, malaysians are generally good jazz musicians. some of the malaysian band i heard in youtube is really amazing.

some of my favourites:
mercedes benz mixed tape-compiles works of new and promising musicians. genres-jazz, nu-jazz, tri-hop, soul, folk song, indie, house, lounge

hotel costes-i've only manage to download the 2nd and the 10th album. thumbs up for lounge and chill-out.

kenny-g -ahh...classic. who would've not know him? jazz, of course!

michael buble-nice voice, and good looking too. haha

ryuichi sakamoto-ahh, this man is genius. can't describe him. during my internship i listened to his forbidden colours everyday, every minute and second, for 2 continuous week. it's like caffeine. can't do without it. yeah, i was that crazy then.

clazziquai-korean music. thumbs up.

norah jones-i don't really have her songs in my list but i listened to her few songs and quite like it. she's really a jazz pianist.

yundi li-ok! this one is not jazz pianist. he's a classical pianist. virtuoso pianist.

i sense the list is growing and growing. it's always like that. once you browsed for one particular musician, you will inevitably stumbled across another musician. and it makes me itchy all over.

*scratch scratch*

random thoughts

"mei, i've got a bad news to tell you"

it was 12.45 pm, when i was boarding the intercity train. my heart pounded at a faster rate hearing such words escaping from my mum's mouth and expressed in such a gravely tone. oh, God! i hope it has nothing to do with the family.

***

"uncle C just passed away this morning."
mouth gaped open, unable to register.
"who, u said?"
"uncle C. we are on our way to malacca now."
i was shocked. i couldn't imagine aunt C, cousin j and y's feelings.

***

on his last day, uncle C was excited about making a trip back to perak for a gathering and a celebration. he bought lots of malacca products-biscuits and noodles.

in his last 30 minutes, he chatted over the phone, happily, discussing about where we are going for dinner.

on his last minute, he was lying on his bed. perhaps, he never knew that his wife was frantically calling his name and shaking his arms, or how he was sent to the hospital.

in the wee hours of saturday, he was free from all the heavy medications and his pains.

***

suddenly, i felt that life is extremely short and unpredictable. not that i am not aware of the fact, but just that, i've never really feel it this deeply before. the termination in the human world could be that sudden. death is part of the life cycle, inevitable but it still feels as if it's a taboo word in my vocabulary.

suddenly, i feel like hugging my parents. i felt thankful that my family are still here. i can still hear their voices- sis's frantic voice, my parents' nagging, read those rude (at times, haha) smses from my brother and feeling their warmth. i think i should gather with my family more often. one never know when things'll start changing.

what if one day, i met with an accident or i died in my sleep, will i be regretful, that i've not live my life to the fullest, done anything meaningful and had not a single accomplishment? gosh! i gotta start now!

sometimes, i wonder how would a person feel when he discover that he is semi-transparent (let's assume souls are transparent like the movie makers do), floats instead of walking, and when he's starring at his own body like those near-death-experiencers claimed to have experienced. hmm, perhaps to the deceased, death is a new beginning for them.

being able to wake up every morning, to the chirps of the birds, the cock-a-doodles, to the buzzzzzz of the alarm clock and knowing that the person dearest to you are still with you is really wonderful.

i shall wake up everyday feeling grateful.

sentimentalist's silent night

it's so quiet that you can even hear the alarm clock's arm moving and ticking, the sound of the swishing fan, the sound of a pin drop and you will notice even the tiniest rustle of the bin bag at the corridor as the cat digs in for food. the silence of the night is occasionally broken by fire-crackers exploding in the dark and starless sky.

it's a still and breezy night.

here i am,randomly typing (and also continuously backspacing) while looking out into the darkness of the night, lighten up by pin-pricks of lights. everything seems slow today, as if time has frozen. as if, the whole residential college is owned by me, only me. a few days before, laughter and the sound of slippers slapping on the floor could be heard from every dimension. today, i miss the music that blasted off yee ling's speakers.

it's indeed a quiet night.

i walked down the corridor of level 3 earlier, hoping to hear and detect signs of civilisation, well, accept for the cat. to my un-surprise, my room is the only one that displays excessive usage of electricity (powering my laptop, charging cellphone, boiling water for milo and charging my mp3 simultaneously).

it's weird. on such a quiet environment, i am still energetic. unable to sleep. i was totally indulging in the music enchoing through my new sonic gear earphones. i once complained that it's not superb enough to deliver the kind of sound quality i wish to hear. but today, in the complete quietness, it works amazingly, the bass lines are clear and the sound does not sound as if it is spreading randomly. my recommendations: the best genres to listen to with good speakers and earphones on such a breezy night-jazz, chillout and bossa novas, over a cup of hot and steaming coffee or probably a bottle of wine, nibbling on cheese crackers.

such night is to be indulged.

not entirely bored. partially delightful.

quiet is gold.

happy holiday, folks!

of laptop, coffee bean, convocation & glam night

a cold war has been ensued between my toshiba laptop and me, which means i am deprived of my daily facebook-ing and my random surf, which also means that i am now spending more time reading then clicking, which also means i sleep earlier and although i still wake up late, my liver, lungs and colon are definitely healthier nowadays.


that just showed the impact of the internet and technology in my lifestyle. i used to poke fun at my friends who love scrubbing their pets in pet society, everyday, without fail until one day, when i started using facebook to kill boredom. and, i turned into a facebook addict. minus the facebook, i still spend most of the hours reading blogs and visiting random sites. it's weird, you know. sometimes, you spend so much time with the internet, up to the point you don't even know what you want to surf for anymore, but then, you just refuse to let go off your mouse.

ok. end of the introduction.

happy! yes, i am happy to be able to hijack yee ling's desktop. muaahahhahaa!

*****

the fact is i miss my laptop a lot. and it's kaput, just when i have so much to say, and, i don't have anywhere to channel all my thoughts and expressions. a lot of things happen within this short period of time, including the worsening h1n1 pandemic that "granted" us with the unexpected 1 week break, the day where i finally decided to try surfing the net in coffee bean and that same day was the day where my laptop started to get cranky. imagine this, you are in coffee bean, there's two ang mohs typing swiftly and their laptops are those of the cool and super-minis, and then, you found out that your laptop fails to operate, so you ended up pushing the laptop's power button 5 to 6 times only to see those horrible and painfull sight of vertical multicolour stripes on the screen, and then, you heard the customer behind you talking about h2n2 virus, acer and sony laptops-computing stuff. paiseh kan?

*****

the convocation. one of the happenings in upm recently. it's happening because it's the grandest event for all the graduates and secondly, it has caused traffic jam in upm main campus.

i like to see the seniors in their marroon robes. i especially like it when graduation caps are tossed high up in the air. it feels triumphant and successful.

bouquet of flowers with graduating teddies were everywhere. gift shops are on economic boom and are happily making profits out of juniors and family members around these few months, every year.

if you notice one thing very special in my uni is that, the malays love to have picnics here. it's a trend, i think. when i first came in to upm, i saw a lot of malay families spreading blankets, with tubs of food- i guess sambal sotong, fried noodles and syrup-some on the parking space and some on available green spots. i am truly amazed by this culture-the family bonding.

happy and proud parents, and close friends, waiting to snap pictures with the graduates-this adds to the cheerfullness and excitement of the event. it's a moment filled with warmth.

to my direct senior and to my sis who will be walking down the aisle to receive her scroll today in unimas, congratulations!

*****

yes, i still have more to express here. something about yesterday's event, our course night. the theme was "a night we gather, a lifetime we remember"-quite a meaningful phrase and the dress code was smart and beauty, but i think "smart and beauty" is the theme, more likely because the guys and the girls (or should i use ladies?) really dressed up well for the occasion. everyone is looking good in their own styles. the juniors really shocked us. what a glamorous batch! all dressed to kill.

with the help of my dearie coursemates, i finally own my first dinner dress. my gratitude goes to tzy chun, especially for enduring with my pickiness when it comes to clothings. if i have a stylist, my stylist will surely go bald for constantly tugging and scratching his hair whenever i rejected the dresses he chooses for me. know why? if you pick a dress with multicolours and abstract patterns, i'll tell you that the dress looks like my house curtains or my bedsheet. if you pick a dress with flutter sleeves, i'll tell you that i hate the sleeves. i don't think i am cut out for these sleeves. i like only polo t-shirts and jeans and bermuda shorts, and crocs (crocs are uglily beautiful!). therefore, i admit, i am quite monotonous, it's either black or white or checked pattern when it comes to preferences for dresses.

still, i wore a black dress and for the first time ever, i think i really dressed accordingly to the dress code. it's ok. wearing a dress is not as terrible and horrifying as i first thought. therefore, no regrets in buying that dress. it's a tad too expensive for a non-earning student, but it's worthfull. the fabric is nice and of good quality, but what's important is that, i felt happy wearing it. i may not look very pretty in the dress, but it's comfortable and i felt confident when i was wearing it. it feels not that bad being a girl. yesterday, i really thought that being a girl is wonderful: girls get to wear beautiful dresses. [though i don't behave like one. hohoho]

oh, my dear sis! hurry up! get a good guy and get married quick! so that your little sister can still wear that dress of hers for a second time before she generates more fat.

sigh, why does the clock ticks so fast when it's fun time?

*****

talk less is better

for people like me, who couldn't stir up good topics, use proper terms and blend well in conversations.

for that, i am extremely grateful that i have a blog where i can pour all my emotions and true colours without causing much anger. the computer and the keyboard will not snap at me when i input in something riddiculous, unlike humans. you've got to be so carefull with what you are saying everyday, to ermmm...humans. (yeah, i am one too, and i am extremely sensitive)

so if i can reduce my display of naiveties, my childishness and nonsensicalness and rate of annoyances by talking less, than be it. i will try to keep my absurdity to myself. and, a mental note to myself, keep those "low class" comments to yourself.

i will try to accomplish this.


*ahhhh...i feel much better now!*

the thing with z

i wonder why people like to add 'z' at the end of certain words?

last time, i thought adding z to a word makes you sound cool. the word that is dull looking seems to feel more futuristic when it has a z attached to it. i remember my friend's email, something like ...kidz@hotmail.com. it gave me the impression of someone outgoing and active. someone who has a drive for creativity. and then, i started to put z's in all my forum login names because i thought that that's the trend. but, after a few months, i grew bored of the z's.

unlike, e-bill, e-ticket, i-phone, ipod, i-fridge, adding a z to daily expressions is nothing more than a word deco. how on earth did these words-haihz, aihz, lolz, nitez, sienz, heyz, frenz sprout out?

"sien" means boring, in cantonese. sienz is no different from sien, just an extra z there.
who actually invented this z culture? how it become so famous among these few generations and well used in facebook and msn? i have to admit that, i am sometimes annoyed by the overusage of the letter (pms mah!).

imagine your whole conversation over the msn peppered with lots of z's.
will it sounds like this:
a : heyz!
b : heyz! whazzup?
a : kinda sienz here...
b : haihz
a : aihz, me too...
b : lotsa assignmentz to do
a : haihz...hahahahahaz. me too. ganbatte nehz.
b :gtg, ta. wanna catch baywatch
a :lolz. wakakakaz. k. nitez.

? i know it's a lousy conversation. does anyone actually chat like that?

money sucker

who else can it be? my residential college la!!!

yes! yes! yes! it's you!

every new semester, you suck my purse dry. forcing me to buy your so-called "college-package" consisting of an awful looking college-t, a merit book and a buku panduan.

i thought i could have hide my money from you but then, i failed. you are more cunning than i thought. i fell into your trap.

no doubt that the college-t is of better material this semester, but what's the use if you keep on printing large amount of oversized t-shirts (last year they gave me a XXXL because that's the only size left!) and using the same design for the past two years?

here, let me show you my college-t. the beautiful and improved college-t:

pretty, ain't it?

ah...there goes 15 meals.

when you are getting older

of late, i keep on reminiscing into the past, ah, the good ole' days, how energetic and carefree we used to be. jumping on the bed, the impersonating-super-heroes-days, draping yourself with a blanket while pretending to be the white halloween ghost, playing hide and seek where underside of the bed and the wardrobe are the two worst location for hiding.

and, do you ever remember that whenever you were listening to backstreet boys, 911 and bands of that sort, how your mum will ask you to lower down the volume? she will keep on saying that these "new" bands produce more noise than music and you will try to defend your musical taste while bombarding their beloved oldies.

today, you will, occasionally find yourself humming to one of those old tunes from your parents' era and sometimes you sigh and curse those loud noise, the ones with the singer screaming and yelling and yelling and yelling and forever yelling. then, when you get your own laptop and mp3 player, you start ripping all your parents' ABBA cd, the Carpenters and the like. well, i still like jay chou and lee hom but their old albums are still the best. haha. imagine 20 years later, you comment to your child that his favourite artists' songs' sucks and lousy, i think he would be responding to you just like how you responded to your mum 30 years back then!

oh, and you will find the actresses and actors in taiwan dramas, k-dramas and j-dramas getting younger and younger, cuter and damn handsome! *awwww* this applies notably to taiwan dramas and k-dramas where all the pretty boys left the female audiences swooning. in 20 years to come, maybe you will watch less dramas because you couldn't bear to look at those young and beautifull actresses anymore without having the thought of taking botox to make yourself looking like 22 again!

and, you also start to dislike fast food. given a choice, you'd not have kfc or mc donalds for dinner (oh, but mc donalds's sundae is creamy!). you start to enjoy restaurants or cafe with a certain ambience that fits your mood. what i mean here is more like us indulging in finer arts.

on birthdays? well, i think most girls (or should i say ladies?) still enjoy their birthday surprises but frown and shudder at the thought of the digits. your cake no longer reads the plain old "happy birthday!". instead it reads "getting older? wakakaa" or "for the 30 yo girl". or, you start to think of names for your birthday friend just to annoy her/him.

sometimes, you enjoy the company of your closest friends but on some days, you'd just love to be left all alone by yourself, secluding yourself at a corner of your room listening to quiet music. you start to appreciate the quietness, the loneliness, and the tranquillity. you like to be alone doesn't mean that you hate to be around people.

health consiousness certainly comes into you. you start checking the ingredients of the products before buying them despite not understanding most of the chemical terms used. just pretend you understand will do lar! hahaha!

oh, yeah and fashion! you start shaking your head and tsk-ing whenever you see teenagers wearing what seems to be like a pair of fish nets and very low-cut shorts, matched with shocking pink pumps. or, sometimes, you find yourself praising how well dressed some girls are, while you are wearing something that makes people think that you have not been updating your wardrobe for yonks.

one obvious thing is that, you keep on thinking of your childhood, wishing and hoping that you could turn back the time, like me. and, you are nodding in agreement with me while reading these or if you disagree with me, maybe that just prove that i am much older than i thought. oh, dear!

brooding over growing old does not mean i do not appreciate life. being older means having your own say to things and matters, control over your own belongings, social activities and your thoughts maturely. what's more important is growing old gracefully, happily and living life to the fullest.

hm...i think i wanna live with less hatred but with more love and forgiveness.

talented?gifted?

someone quoted this over the net :

"talent is earned, it is not a gift"

this phrase totally caught me. many a time, we come the conclusion that we are simply "un-gifted" or untalented when we find it impossible to perform as brilliantly as the "gifted" ones. well, for example: watching jay chou's piano battle. we were totally awed by his skills and speed, and by how he managed to get over those quick passages so effortlessly. weren't we? but then, we tend to forget the hardship these people underwent before they reach to their current stage, how they dutifully practice the cherzny and hanon finger exercises, how they practice their scales to perfection. they earned their skills and fast fingers, through years of practice and perseverance.

once, a teacher lent me a book "dare to fail",and, i particularly remember this famous person (oh, whom i can't remember his name, sorry ><) who likened his success which we now see, to the tip of an iceberg whereas his failures and hardships, likened to the remaining 9/10 of the iceberg remains submerged under the water.

it's the problems and hardship that keep us strong and brings out the potential in ourselves. everyone is just as talented and gifted in their own ways.

duet

duet is nice and fun.
hey, kit nyin, i found a new duet piece for both of us!!!

forbidden colours

i fell in love. it's wonderful.

it started when these soft and delicate notes echoed their ways into my ears, whispering sweet melodies that caused me to shiver. the sparkly notes sent my soul wandering through the clouds, searching for something unknown. what would i be looking for? i am longing for more.

through the echoes, i see a girl wondering, alone in the quietness of the dark, when the church bells chime from afar, causing the ripples in the calm stream. as the ripples develop, the darkness disappears gradually. the arpeggios...

i felt a rush of emotions. it was painful, bitter and sweet at the same time. i felt happy and sad. my heart is aching but yet i enjoy it. the gumption and all. i am so drowned in it.

forbidden colours, huh? why though? i wonder. sometimes, i find myself lost in words when it comes to defining my own interpretations of such pieces. the words are swirling in my head but i just couldn't spew them out. too nice and great a piece, i am awed.

trully a music from the heart.

#thanks to the man who composed this wonderful music, ryuichi sakamoto. #

day 15 & day 16

monday, day 15-we are now entering a new phase, implementation phase, where lots of codings will be involved. the period allocated for this phase is 6 weeks. but, our interface looks too simple and blank. so, we are still thinking of a way to fill out those blank areas, with functional objects. after all, we are building the system for the use of landscape of landscape and design, where design will be given emphasis. so, that means, we are still not "launching" into the next phase. to make matter worse, our presentation is scheduled to be at 0900 on tuesday. we were not ready on many things. but, due to some circumstances, the presentation was postponed to next month, i heard or, did i hear wrongly? never mind, that should buy us some time, though i am not sure if we will be able to produce spectacular interface by then. low productivity. my heave of relieve too, that i don't need to pass up my log book yet. i have not written anything yet, since day 1!

dinner was superb. reheated the dishes packed by mom on sunday. delicious. the taste of homecook food flooded my heart once more. missing home and parents more nowadays. never felt that way before.

tuesday, day 16-supervisor not available for the day! so, yeahhhh! i think i'll continue my work and updating my log book in my room. so far, i've written for only 4 days and is already facing some crisis now. nothing more left to crap about in the book. duh!

*when will friday arrives?*

day 14

it was friday, the 15th of may. i kept glancing at the clock, watched as it's hands ticked slowly. my heart was feeling very rushed and unsettled. why oh why, does the time passed so slowly today? it's friday! FRIDAY!!! i wanna go home! never had i miss home so much.

throughout the whole day, i couldn't concentrate on my work. my browser tabs showed jsp tutorials, xml and etc but in fact, my soul had wandered to some far-far-away-land. when will it ever be 5pm?!

anyway, putting aside the homesickeness episode, it's already the last day of the interface design phase. however, there is some problem regarding the interface and the menu. and we still have not done the tabbings yet. maybe, we should just go with simple tabs that do not involve java scripts. not looking good.

now, i start to apprehend why my aunt always said the same "fond-words" to us while we were still in secondary school. the responsibilities and burdens are slowly climbing up.

also, i started to appreciate the "home-sweet-home" phrase. there's no place better than your home and family. my house and family is where my heart is. when i am looking for relaxation, i'll think of home, when i need entertainment, i think of the piano at home. when i miss mom and dad (miss those fights and arguments...haha), i'll think of home.

now that i am back in my shell of comfort, i felt that time ticks freakingly fast. in a glimpse, it's already saturday and next, sunday, and next? worrrkkkk...duh!

i guess human is greedy in nature. 2 days of holiday are just not enough.

#frankly speaking, i wish the other fridays will arrive fast. 7 weeks is enough. more than enough.#

day 12 & day 13

by this week, everyone is starting to feel the heat of the training (and from the sun too). you will see tiredness, laziness, boringness, holiday-sickness, homesickness and all kinds of negative emotions. 3 weeks feels very longggggg. each day, i counted the remaining weeks left for training, the number of working hours i need to endure before i finally call it a day and rejoice with my bed.

the best day i had was tuesaday. a lot of positive things happened(minus a few negatives). i saw someone unexpected! and, i had a heart-to-heart talk with mmay. it's always nice to have someone to talk to. besides, sis called that afternoon saying that she will be back by the night flight.

thrilled is the word that best describe me now, as i type these words. i am happy that it's friday tomorrow. i've always love fridays. i am going home tomorrow! and, i wanna play the piano! i wanna eat mum's homecook meals! i wanna go for steamboat!

ehem...i realise i am now abit SS, but oh, yeepeeeeeee!!!

so, 3 more hours to go. duh!

for day 10 and day 11

still working on it. very clueless on many things. i kept on thinking that the project would be easier to handle if only i paid attention in java and database class. i hope i'll gain something after this, or else the 10 weeks will be a futile effort.

the last trip to pahang with mien may was nice and enjoyable. her family is very generous. i had to say i ate quite a lot during my stay with them. i'll remember the simple meat-wrapped-in-egg dish. i love it tremendously. not exaggerating. also, not forgotten, the astro channel! kbsw! wah lai toi! and that spooky series-the strange tales of Liao Zhai! i would love to express my gratitude towards their generosity and great hospitality here.

during my stay, i found a lot of resemblance between mien may's family and mine. her mum's styles are just like my mum's. her dad's are like mine. i started to miss home, miss my sis and bro. sometimes, i think i dare not go home because i am scared that i'll have to leave again in the sunday afternoons.

there were days, when i went into total depression, weeping silently during lunch (lucky that no one's around at that time). i was having too many thoughts, negative mostly, missing home, worrying about the project which seems to progress slower than ever, being lonely without some close friends and etc. i really hate myself for being a pessimist, weak and slow.

well, i think that will be all for today. oh, God! i pray to thee that thou will shower me with courage and perseverance and that thy child would be more optimistic. (very shakespeare-nt?)

day 8 and day 9

#can i do it?#

yesterday, a friend told me in her own subtle way that i complain too much and i don't have much initiative, after i launched my episodes of bad results, bad cgpa and unhappy training. i couldn't take it very well, at first but later at night, i started to feel a lot of what she said about me.

not exactly inspiring, and not exactly the way i would like to be comforted but at some point, it's true that i need to get out of my comfort zone.

but, one thing i disagree with her is that to let myself handle the tasks all by myself. i am not willing to let a group tasks being renamed into "individual tasks". and, i really would like to try to trust my group members despite how i always bad-mouth them. another reason is that, i don't know whether i can handle it alone. or, should i?

anyway, updates on my training. like i said, the supervisor's nice. she gave us too many hints and is strict at the same time. but, the guy just would not take it nicely. she already said not to use power point, TWICE. and, he kept doing it. by then, i was already too "dead" to "sound" him.

so, the interface's still NOT ready yet. the supervisor was a bit like " ... ". you know what i mean.
i don't think they will ever bring their work home with them. ah, that's just healthy.

as for me, i am looking forward to going to pahang this evening. maybe i should do a schedule like, when i'll go sight-seeing with mien may and when i should continue my work while in pahang since next presentation is due on tuesday. i can't bear to have the unbelievable-you-are-still-doing-the-same-page-since-friday look from the supervisor. i really hope not to dissapoint her too much, yeah my parents and me too.

she(supervisor) said something that motivates me a while..haha..(ya, i don't stay motivated for long). "your academic result does little matter, it's your skills that counts".

so, wish me luck that i will be positive for the next 8 weeks and the following.

till then, cheers from me.



#see, i am writting less gloomy stuff!#

a moment break from all the shit

You Need Friends to Be Happy

You are a friendly, social person. You seek out connections and relationships. Being close to others is very important to you, and you don't like discord. You feel great when you're cooperating and working with others. You enjoy belonging to a group. Nothing makes you feel worse that feeling alone or alienated. You want to be liked by those around you. found this "what makes you happy" survey. since, i am already so mellow everyday, i wanna find out what's my problem and it turns out...hahaha. true. a bit lonely here. i am looking forward to tomorrow's trip to pahang with mien may. i wanna get out from this place for a few days, absorb some positive energy, gain more confidence and trust in my teammates, have more motivation to push myself forward and lastly, have fun. i miss my parents too. but everytime they call me, i have nothing much to say to them. nothing is more soothing then a bowl of homecook soup, and the constant nagging of my parents. i miss the piano at home too. i wonder if she misses me? i think i wanna get myself a pet hamster-if i am able to feed myself well.

day 7

#i miss my friends and many little things#

the day started well. the presentation went well. the discussion session was informative but when it reached to the later part, my head started spinning, i could felt my brain being heavy-too dense with the information. (in the end, i couldn't store anymore, the new ideas just dissipate out from my brain.) i was actually glad that what i did was well commented by our supervisor. for once, i felt positive during training time. however, when time progressed, the day was ideal no more.

following the discussion on the database design, we went on to discuss about the layout of the interface. here's when the event took for a turn, nobody prepare or draft any designs on layout. i only managed to draft the login page and the overall layout the other day. because you can't just keep quiet, i proposed mine and, i forgot most of the features, some still undecided-not so perfect, i admit. but this is still ok. our supervisor gave us some ideas and show us some examples which she would prefer. still ok.

then...she asked "you tau buat jsp?" --------i answered "sedikit", the "girl" was silent, the "guy" gave a slight nod. (he was busy texting his friends)

next, she asked "you semua tau mysql dan database kan?" ------to this i gave a very unsure expression (ok! i memang sucks in database and programming), the "girl" (dunno...i didn't pay attention to her expression), the "guy" (still busy with his phone, occassionally glancing up-i really can't tahan him already by this time).

and by now, you should be able to imagine the expression of the supervisor. can't blame her. we are really too "genius". i know that she's not very please.

she kept asking us to learn throught the net. do some research on it. yeah, there's no choice now. she's already being so kind, willing to guide us in improving the database designs and share with us her codings for some basic structures. at some point, i really felt lucky that i am not training in a big private company-or i'll be able to expect what the outcome would be.

then another horror was discovered after the discussion. we were installing dreamweaver to the workstation, and she asked if we have experience using this program. the thing is, if you are an IT student, regardless of your major, you are bound to do projects or assignments which require you to build a simple system (i.e: hospital online appointment system, e-library...etc etc) using dreamweaver, at least 1 time. and, turns out our "girl" has no idea at all. sigh.

we call this "human factor". i know it is very bad to talk so unkindly of one person when you yourself is not even that great but sometimes some of these have to get out, before i burp every single detest to them. really, no matter how many times i tried to remind myself that everyone is capable in their own way, i can't deny that my unhappiness while i am with them is like a balloon waiting to burst! that's one thing i dislike about myself.

the more i think about it, the more pretentious i felt. spending precious day time smilling (and some scowls) at them, and talk badly about them later. i think i'll go to hell!


"you should stop complaining because complaining will not solve any problems".

Day 6

#i start to look at the bright side of everything that happens#

i admit that i have been very ego and arrogant for the past few days. i have been very naive, have been complaining to too many people about my unhappiness and this has reflects how unadaptive i am. my selfishness and arrogance has cause myself "blind".

so, what's the sudden ray of sunshine?
nature. the 30 minutes walk from my hostel to my training place is definitely a healthy one-you get the morning air, breathe in the scents of the dried leaves around, the wet moss, the greens (minus the carbons released from the zooming motorcycles and cars)-which is good for the lungs and your eyes. on my way, i spied 3 squirrels in 3 different places, and i find the landscape of the mosque and the new building much more captivating then before. undeniable is the fact that the walk is long and a bit tiring but it is not that bad at all.

***on progress***
day 6- still pondering over the same set of problems and still updating the diagram. it's a good thing that we are able to discover the mistakes that we made and the important aspects that we have left out. however, alterations were made without confidence and only 0.5% of effort is involved. now, do you still call that improvement?

uhm..people make mistakes and learn from the mistakes they made. so, does that mean we are lucky that we still have a lot of room for learning and improvements?

currently, the team still lacks of motivation. everyone spends some time on the project but most of the time on their own business-in 1:3.

i wonder if my friends who are training in the private factor are facing a very strict policy.

Day 5

#some positiveness today, but i am still worried#

we made some progress in database designing, albeit the unsure relationships between some tables and attributes. anyway, we did the diagram, and it looks convincing, and smart. there's still some problems concerning the tables that we built, some mild arguments between teammates but otherwise, this is a much better day compared to last week.

our supervisor will not be around until this wednesday and when she's back, we will have to present out progress and works to her and some other staff of the faculty. that is when the panic comes in. so far, we have only done the first diagram. there are still 2 other diagrams to be drawn and we need to design the interface already.

huh? today i am a bit tired. i think i am now writing a very lousy post.

yawn....yawn...pardon me...

Day 4

#sorry, you gotta face it.#

i am really depressed. my application for a transfer had been rejected. looks like i will be stucked here for 10 weeks, will have to endure pointless discussions with my teammates. i dunno. after the phone call, i just can't help feeling very bitter. tears start swelling in my eyes. the coordinator is very nice but she just wouldn't permit my transfer despite how i reason with her.

**teammates**
i think i have a bit of issue with them.
this team is really unbalanced in terms of skills and expertise-all very blur (including me).
and some really have a different eye on "standard". you would think an ERD comes with attributes, but some just think attributes are unnecessary in ERD. the leader of the group himself is quite unsure of what he's doing and writing. (and he's an ex-dip! isn't he supposed to be good-or at least knowledgeable?!) i am not born a leader, so don't ask me to lead the discussion as i am more comfortable in giving opinions! and, despite me telling him that the two entity that has the same attributes should be grouped into one, he still seperates them. come on!!!

i have to say there are no cohesiveness and bonding in this group at all. i think part of the reason is that i don't feel like bonding too. so, my bad.

what i regret very much is that i couldn't choose the right choice - going under Dr. Fatimah's wing (working in FSKTM) and instead, i agree to a place so far from my hostel. i am sooooo stupid!!! so, practically, i am doomed here.

very unhappy here. negative.


"yeah, you are right. it's part of learning."

Day 3

#one will think that i have nothing positive to say about my training.#

no progress yet. the malay trainee is absent. she had stomach cramp yesterday and i suppose she's still having it. the other trainee went out from 11:00 am till now. he will only be back after lunch hour, i presume. meanwhile, i had my butt glued to the chair, firmly and fingers fixed at the keypad. since internet connectivity here is good, i might as well make some good use of it-download movies. (but, where the heck should i find for free direct downloads?)

oh, i am dying to change faculty. not that i don't like it here or i have some unspoken issues with the other two, i just think that it is not too convenient for me to "travel" from my hostel to this faculty. too far. but, at the same time i do not have the courage to ask for a transfer. i fear that my coordinator would not permit the transfer (e.g: no available position for trainee in fsktm), and also, that will be very cruel to the other two trainees. 10 weeks is very short. despite me telling a friend that i decided to face the challenge, on and off, i am still thinking of the possibility. oh, boy! i must be very weak. i can't even bear for a week!

let's just see how. till tomorrow. or, i'll ring up my coordinator and ask for her opinion.

Day 2

#sorry that i am not very cooperative#

*** what we did today ***
we had our first discussion. it's a good start. at least we are going through the first phase of the project. i can't say that we are very productive but nevertheless, we came up with something. from this discussion, i can see that everyone's attention is not at the right place. one is eager to get back into the air-conditioned lab-and that's me, another is eager to get off to town for his "minum" session and the last girl seems very busy. well, at least the second guy puts in initiative to start the discussion, jot down details and give opinions. i just couldn't bear with the last person. her cellphone keeps on ringing, and the ringtone's noisy. it's just annoying and irritating. can't she just put her phone into silent mode? i find it irritating when somebody distracts the discussion.

another thing is that we are all "going to different directions". we do not own the same goal. i mean disagreements do happen, in fact, all the time, in group discussion but this is somehow different. how should i put it? hm...never mind. maybe it's just me.

maybe i am the problem. i am the kind who talks big, but do little. i admit that.
i am also very dependent on my programming-expert friends, but that doesn't apply now. the girl doesn't even understand html despite her taking java classes with us. not wanting to sound ego, but really, i thought i am the weakest, and here, i really do not know whether i should feel relieved that i will not be intimidated by the geniuses, or i should be worried that our project will be a mess, worst-a failure. right now, i think it would be incredible, if we manage to deliver the result in the end. it's looking bleak.

i just hope that i'll "grow up" from this training, stop relying too much on people and starts putting words into action.

*** lunch ***
after the tiring and exhausting walk from the faculty to the old flat, i am an inch wiser now. my resolution to having a good and healthy lunch is to become a brown-bagger. i am bringing my own lunch box. so, yay! no longer need to waste energy and money. say no to smelly armpits. hahaha. well, decided to alternate between chocolate sandwich, scrambled-eggs and sardine. the only downside is that, i need to wake up earlier to prepare them. *grumble*

so, that's day 2 for me.

i'll try to look optimistic.

Industrial Training

Day 1

well, i know it's too early to judge but really...

it's barely 10 in the morning and i am already yawning in the lab. i am really "thrilled" to spend the remaining 7 hours and 30 minutes here. the lab is very quiet and there's only 5 people in the lab, that all you will be able to hear is the sound of mouse clicks. terribly bored.

we were asked to develop an academic system for the landscaping and architecture faculty. it sounds somewhat like our database project, only harder, i guess.

but then, what makes it even boring is the fact that you are stucked right here, and not having any specific task to do, and the two coursemates you are working with are someone whom you never talk to during lecture classes. all you can do is pretend to surf the internet for more information of the new programming language that you are about to use, browsing some portals for references and looking through some tutorials which do not look like a tutorial at all!!! ok, occasionally, flipping tabs to e-buddy and blogspot to kill some boring. ya, right, not occasionally, frequently. oh, i know i don't have the right attitude and motivation.

i am not hungry but i can't help thinking of lunch break. anyway, one of the staff mentioned to us that there is only one kiosk that sell some light food, not really a cafe. so, totally not looking forward to the lunch hours, just wanna breath in some "new" oxygen.

***pause. a guy's coming over! quick change tab!!!***

ok..he's gone now...
so, he said he noticed that we (the three quiet trainees) are not speaking to each other. he thought that we come from different departments. he came over an chatted with us for a while, asking who's our supervisor and bla bla. meanwhile, i kept on [pretending to] mouse over those bold letters-PHP, to look as if i am concentrating, focusing. than this other guy came, and he said we can do whatever stuff we like today, there's no official assignments yet. so, no more pretending. anyway, they already know what we are up to.

i start to appreciate msn more now. it's nice to be able to exchange news with friends, especially the time when u are growing moss in the lab.

i think that should be enough for now. if i continue writing, i'll be able to produce a novel-length entry already with all the craps. and last word...i still wish that money grows on tree! haha

the thing is:

#1
i was thinking how great it would be if i could write interestingly like the gossip girl from the tv series "gossip girl" does, turning everyone's nasty stories into delicious cakes-(preferably tiramisu)-"cakes" for tea time, meant to be savoured together with a perfect cup of steaming coffee. oh! i should stop this gossip-girl-wannabe! #

the assignments and my final exams have prevented me from nosing into people's blog, leave aside updating mine and i am glad to say that the pressure has now subside-a little. well, some is better than none. for the past few weeks, Sleep has become a rare luxury to us. we were deprived of our sleep, and occasionally waking up in the wee hours, jamming all the theories and complex models into half-awaken brain, while trying to fight off the temptation of the bed. cruel. if u are suggesting caffeine, forget it. i've already gained immunity against it.

while going through those weeks, i can't help thinking about snuggling into the warmth and comfort of my comforter at home though the weather here has been (and still) insanely hot! ok, what's passed is history. all those exams, boy, i wish i can turn the time backwards, so that i can redo my papers.

and it's already "that" time of the semester, where everyone starts sealing their parcels, packing and dumping stuff. you know, one can learn a lot about their neighbours by looking at those stuff that they throw of. it's like a "fresh" surprise. (i should rob my opposite blockmates! you gotta see what they left outside their room to get what i mean.) anyway, at some degrees of the heat (why is it so hot in here?!!), i envy them-that they got to pack and go home, while i spend my 10weeks undergoing training. sob. i wish i've brought more instant noodles and biscuits from home. i wish i hadn't leave my external hard disk at home. this is unbearable! i wish that i can drink mum's soup every week. and i really wish that money does grow on trees-even if it's just for a short period of ten weeks.

still here

phew! thanks god, i am still breathing.

*breathe in* *breathe out* *breathe in* *breathe out*

screwwwwwwwed 2

you know what? i just flunked my lab quiz!!!!!!!!!

omg!

speechless. i've to admit that i've never felt that e-buddy and msn will play so much more role than just a tool for cheaper chit-chatting. my friends are actually interacting with each other, comparing some answers over msn during the 1 hour quiz? oh, geezz, i felt so left out. if only i have the habit of using msn. i might be able to fish out some answers.

huhu...

posted with much regret for being lazy and ignorant about technology.

how i blow [my] job (it's not what u think, i assure you!)

sigh....the thing is...


...i just screwed my chance. thanks to me, myself for being so foolish!!!
what the heck is "i would like to know the answer of the application by tomorrow" ?!!!
how on earth, did i manage to sum up so much courage to speak like an ignorant and arrogant fool?!!
am i the employer or the student trying to apply for an internship in his company?!!
STUPID ME!!!

all i wanted to do is sounding calm over the phone-for a good 1st impression, displaying no sign of panicky but now i ended up sounding ego and impatient.

i really felt like shooting myself right now. erkkkkk...

it's over now. drink lotsa water and move on. should start searching for another company since due date is by this week.

go!go!go!

Stress! but keep on going! go! go!

finding myself less time to peep at friend's blog and to read my books. also finding myself getting more and more random. e.g : i went into the toilet, and dingdong! i have something that i wanna post up here and when i hurried back to my laptop, it seems i've flushed all ideas into the bowl too.

but then, it's a rare occasion that i am "granted" a much speedier internet speed in my room, that i am even able to login, i wanna post something. no matter what. a;lsk;lkal;kfk;lk 'fmkalf'klsjkfl!!!

in two hours time i shall prepare for my last paper. java programming!!!
study till i wanna vomit. even have to resist temptation to eat maggi because according to an unknown resource, maggi makes you forgetfull. is that true?!

public class Server {
public static void main(String[] args) {
new Server();
}
public Server() {
try{
//create socket
ServerSocket server=new ServerSocket(port);
//listen to connection
Socket socket=server.accept();

//get i/o stream
}
catch (IOException ex) {
}
}
}

*sorry, multithreading just occured. have to remember how to write the Server class and have to determine what to type in here. the multithreads are ran by only a single cpu and that's my brain! and all threads are ran simultaneously. that's why! that's why!

i think i better concentrate.








darn! i am itching to read mangas.

what's this feeling?

it's chinese new year but i'm watching home alone, again.
now, it feels like christmas once more.
starting to think that i am already in december. hohoho.

*eh, santa claus goes hohoho, i wonder how does the chinese prosperity god laugh*

anyway, happy chinese new year to all my buddies. i have yet to count my red packets. haha. but, i have my phone bill to pay. screw that.

2009 cny's rather interesting, albeit the new zits, the mild diarrhea on the very 1st day of cny...and the pile of assignment papers lying at the foot of my bed. learn to play "cho tai ti" again and again. drank a whole can of carlsberg in bright day light, which i regretted later. felt as though i am going to fall off a building. weird, last time i drank two bottles and i was ok. weird! ang pau packets are getting more and more attractive, less red and more "hua yang". that's why mum developed her "latest" hobby-ang-pau-collecting. after those mooncake boxes, now red packets. packaging is real important. food, as usual. i don't really favour cny meaty cuisine. i don't eat sea cucumber, do not appreciate chicken's leg and pork's leg?!!!

next cny iwansteamboat!!! und barbeque!!! mum, let's have steamboat&bbq next year. less work, more fun. ok?ok? steamboat und bbq sind sehr gut!

last note, hmmm...to the youngest cousin, welcome to the family. may you grow up healthily. we love you. mwaaaaah.

yesss! internet! i have been denied the access to the internet yesterday. uspot stinks. ich hasse dich! since last week, my roomate and i were already counting days to cny and streamyx back at home. we miss the streamyx at home very very veryyyyyy muchhhh. we miss the water heater at home too. uhhh

this afternoon, i've just do my part as a "good" upm student. just did the election thingy..the registration system is quite efficient. no wasted time and heaty queue. but then, it's funny how me and my friends vote. to tell the truth, we have no idea on who we should vote for. we only know the candidates from the posters. so, we vote for candidates with the most appealing look(1st criteria), have better smile than mona lisa (2nd criteria) and who looks very dominant, brave and erm...etc??

while looking at the posters yesterday, i noticed one small similarity between the candidates. hey, all of them have high foreheads! i read from somewhere that people with a high forehead are generally classified as brainy and creative. just look at the proffesors, the scientist and the inventors. all of them have high forehead and lotsa them are bald. if they are not bald, then, they have white hair..true or not???

the next class begins at 1400. friends are now chatting about carreers in the technology field, the possibility of venturing into another major. listening to their conservation always make me feel much more aware of my "situation". very worried. people now are now talking about capabilities, abilities and talent. having only enthusiasm does not help. sometimes, your enthusiasm is just not enough if you don't have the telent. no matter what encouraging words and motivation to inspire and to get you going, the fact is a reality. many graduates are still jobless and following the economy crisis and the severe cut-down in companies, it will be much harder.

no back-up plans yet. what should i do?

i'll never be late to classes again

...because i just got myself a new watch, after i mysteriously lost the one on my 1st semester, which means i spent $$$ again, which also means i went over budget again. oh, but the watch is very nice. initially, tzy chun and i were just looking, and the next thing i know, i was trying on some digital watches, bargaining and paying 170 for the white watch. i think this is the most expensive stuff i've ever buy. that day, i went to the atm machine twice. considering the stingy person that i am, it's "terrible, horrible and vegetable" to see the numbers in my savings decreasing.

ok lar. i hope that i'll be able to wake up every morning at 07:15:25 and stop becoming "v.i.p" in lecture classes.

the watch: one of my darlings now.
look at her! look at her!

with the day stated so clearly at the bottom, i think i won't mistaken monday for sunday again.
which means, i can't "accidentally" skip monday classes...

oh, and, that day, i bought 6 bottles of liquor too! we smuggled these bottles into a friend's room to celebrate new year. we played poker cards, trading groundnuts and sunflower seeds. i personally prefer this to celebrating with such a loud and big crowd at dataran merdeka and bukit bintang. well, we didn't do the countdown thingy because we were too absorbed in the game, the chips and the liqours. oh, and, we were afraid that we would get caught for drinking in hostel room. haha, but that was fun. after all, rules are made to be broken, agree?