be grateful and thankful

yee leng's right. what she said to me during the short conversation this afternoon is something i should not forget. i really felt ashamed of myself. all these years, i always complain about a lot of things, dislike a lot of stuff and being (still) jealous a lot of time. i always complain that i don't have this or that, lacking a lot of life's pleasures but i seldom take time to think about how lucky and wealthy i am, being blessed with a good family, responsible and caring parents, a sister and a brother, being given the opportunity to enrol in music classes, art classes, being dressed in kikilala during my childhood, being showered with gifts of barbie dolls, enid blyton books; and cool creative mp3, cellphone and laptop. i don't even need to spend a single cent on my laptop while some of my friends have to use their loans for their laptops. how lucky am i? if i did not learn music, i would not have proper music foundation, will not be able to read scores, play my favourite pieces and jazz. a lot of people wanted to learn piano, but they do not have the opportunity due to the expenses and parents factor. a lot of people envied me that i can play the piano(though not a pro) and if they discover that i am such an ungrateful brat, i think they will kill me.

knowing that i always complain about staying at home during the holidays, mum and dad always suggest that we go to pantai remis and penang, but i always complain that penang is plain boring and i've already been to pantai remis. i always forget that some people don't even get the chance to step out of their houses and that i am so fortunate that my parents took me to different states during every year-end school holidays. and, yet i will still feel jealous that some students, the same age as mine went overseas for vacations. i am so immatured.

when i complain so much about not getting to eat nice and luxurious food, i should remember that not everyone gets the chance to enjoy steaks in chilli's and the "fine" food in indulgence. at least, i've been to these places once. i should feel grateful.

sometimes when i complain that mum didn't cook this for me or do something, it seldom occurs to me that i seldom do things that she wanted me to too. maybe that's why the relationship between me and mum is not like any other family's. i seldom take time to understand mum and i don't think mum understand me too. me and my mum quarells very often. yeah, i dissapointed mum and dad lotsa times. they are sure sad. oh, i am not a good daughter...

so, from this day onwards, i wanna be more grateful, more thankful to god, for everything that i have, the people that i love and the stuff that i enjoy(that includes the streamyx..haha)


yeah...regarding friendship too. (confession: i use to think that my friends kinda few and i am always isolated) ok, i might not have a lotttttttt of friends, not popular among the guys and the girls but, i do have friends that i cherish, that love and remember me. for that , i am thankful too. peeps, i love you! (now, does this make your hair stand?)